Government Regulations

Have you ever monitor your diet?  Count calories?  Check the labels for sugar, fiber, and fat content?  Well I've had my fair share of Weight Watchers, whey protein, high protein, low protein, smoothies, no meat, and I even purchase a juicer to detox.  Well I believe I have discovered the next FAD Diet, its called the Government Food program. Yes folks its the Government food program! So here's how it works you apply for the program for your employer and the government sends you to an intense training program to learn how to implement this new food program.  As you sit through the many hours of training you will learn how to calculate how much food you have to purchase for each individual meal, and for how many people.  By doing this you will now be an expert in Government food calculations.  Now, that you have figured out how much food you need to purchase its now time to purchase all of this fabulous food at the grocery store.  Oh I failed to mention you can only have 8 oz of milk at each meal and that's 1% milk for anyone above the age of 6, and you can have water any time of the day.  So if you have to feed 20 plus people you may be purchasing 21 gallons of 1% milk.  Since you'll be purchasing so, much milk you may need to bring a friend to help you push all of this milk around while you grab the 4 pounds of individual different types of fruits and veggies, which ultimately you may have up to 40 pounds fresh produce.  Oh did I forget to mention you are allowed 2 oz of meat during lunch and dinner?  And as far as breakfast goes if you want a bagel or something you can have 1/2 of a bagel and a 1/2 cup of fruit.  So, if you just read this entire blog I hope you are getting light headed from the calculations and the lack of food you will be eating once you prepare it.  My advice to you is if you plan to follow this fabulous FAD diet brought to you by the Government please stay away from family and friends the first 3 days as your body is going through a serious DETOX due to the lack of sugar in your system, and you may try to take a bite out of your baby brother because he's sweet. (*giggle*)  You may feel cranky, tired, irritable, hungry, and ready to eat the sole of your shoe, but hang in there it will all be over soon.  And if someone decides not to eat a meal you are providing then the government will not pay for that precious meal you slaved over all day in the kitchen.  Also you better make sure you are documenting everyone whose eating and not eating, and God forbid you have an office party, because you can only eat donated food during snack time.  Well I hope you enjoy your new diet program I'm dying to find out your progress.       

***Food for Thought:  By the way these Government food programs are being used now in our head start programs, school districts, local shelters, and adult care centers.***